Thursday 22 October 2015

Post #21 - That Was (Nearly) The Week That Was (Tricky)

On Monday I wrote the following sentence: The routine's out already, this won't be a great week, I can just feel it.

Yeah, that's about right so far.  It hasn't been horrendous, but well, it's not been that great either.  I won't bore you with the details, I'll save that for my scandalous memoirs (really?) but I'm not feeling that great.  Like many others I often forget to read the detail in messages/emails/missives etc and forgot to purchase my son a new Cub jumper for his 'swim up' from Beavers on Monday.  


Work's been tricky and motivation, low.  I am due to give a five minute presentation about my experiences of having autism at a 'Celebrating Diversity' event in mid-November, but I'm just hoping that I'll not make a huge tit of myself.  My line manager says that it's akin to standing in a bus stop in your underwear.  I don't want that, quite frankly, nobody would. Even if I was to wear a Miss Mary of Sweden corselette.  There's a bus stop near work which people mainly use as a smoking shelter, so I wouldn't wish to hang around in there either.  

Monday 19 October 2015

Post #20 - The Best Laid Plans

My son woke up this morning complaining of an itching body and my husband took him to the Doctor's accordingly.  He has developed an allergy, well, another one as he already cannot tolerate strawberries.  We'll have to begin to keep a food diary.  My husband already has a wheat/gluten allergy, so as you can imagine, it's a bundle of laughs in our kitchen.

I was planning to do the ironing today, but with an ASC/ADHD child around, this concerns me, so I had to potter around instead.  My son insisted on throwing my nightclothes around my bedroom and hooking my bra onto the curtain rail.  Nice.  He's lost a gold star for his behaviour.

The routine's out already, this won't be a great week, I can just feel it.

Saturday 17 October 2015

Post #19 - Selling Things Online If You're An Aspie

Now, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy selling stuff online, but the pitfalls are certainly there.  I cannot recall whether I have already stated on this blog that my brand spanking new Android mobile phone was placed in the back pocket of my jeans when I was upset at work - I duly went into a cubicle and whoosh - it dropped down the toilet.  Cue tears of rage and no, it didn't work any longer and nobody appeared to be able to fix it.

So, as it was a Pay As You Go (PAYG) smartphone with no insurance (wail!) I swapped back to my previous model and bought a brand spanking one online (with enhanced memory power..)  I wondered whether I could sell this one as a 'parts only for spares, water damaged' kind of listing on a popular internet auction site?  So I tried.  Me being me, I described and photographed it very thoroughly and stated everything about its background.  Cue: loads of people asking for buy it now (BIN) prices and other such things.  I took it off sale after a few days and tried selling via the mobile recycling company Envirofone  who promised me some money back for it.  I packaged it all up in the free envelope and off it went.  That didn't stop the automatic harrassing emails from them after about 24 hours though - thank you for that.  Anyway, a few days later they offered me the laughable sum of £26.01 so I requested the phone's return.

I made the decision to re-list it on the internet auction site; was I right?  Almost immediately I had people asking to see the receipt in case it was stolen, more offers to sell off of the site (which is against the rules and other such things.)  Last night took the proverbial biscuit - basically a potential buyer enquired whether it was an insurance fraud.  Nice.  When I challenged her she soon became nasty, but put in a bid anyway.  I removed the bid and contacted the auction company's help centre who were really, well, helpful.

So, anyway, I've gone to another company's recycling department and have requested trade ins for two old smartphones and an old tablet computer.  If they're good then I'll try selling this one on.

The conclusion of this tale is: Aspies like rules and they tend to tell the truth and this is often a toxic combination when selling items online.  I like it when it works, but when it doesn't, boy can it be distressing.


Thursday 15 October 2015

Post #18 - Workplace Assessment, ICU, But At Least The Cat's Back

Today was my workplace assessment for autism via NAS.  The person doing the report was great, but like everything, it's often difficult to re-live some of your past life and career.  I provided a copy of both my NHS and private autism assessments, my CV which details all of my various job moves(!) plus a list of competencies, a detailed answer to the questions posed in the proforma and many other things.  Phew!  It was exhausting to say the least.  She spoke to me, my line manager and a colleague.  The report's due out in the next few weeks and I'll have to discuss the contents with my line manager whilst sitting down (well, she didn't overtly state sitting down, but you know what I mean - maybe a hot beverage?)

My BIL's been moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) because of his breathing.  He's in safe hands though and there isn't a great deal we can do.  My hubby's visiting him tomorrow.

Yay, my cat returned last night at approximately 20:08.  Hubby was collecting my son from Cubs and heard a pitiful meowing as they passed a neighbour's drive and lo and behold - there was a hungry black and white cat there.  I was very pleased to see her. 

Wednesday 14 October 2015

Post #17 - Hospitalised Relatives and A Missing Cat

I won't got into great detail about the background of my family situation, but in a nutshell, my husband has a 90-year-old mother with Vascular Dementia who is now in a residential home and a mentally and physically disabled brother who is in sheltered accommodation.  I explain much more in another of my blogs, Caring For The Carers: https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=744390122599049054#overview/src=dashboard

On Monday afternoon my husband received a call from one of the carers in my brother-in-law's (BIL)'s sheltered accommodation stating that the latter had experienced difficulty breathing and had been taken to A&E at a north London hospital.  He was later admitted; hubby went to see him on Tuesday and my BIL was hooked up to masks, tubes and all sorts - he seemed quite sick.  The Doctor stated that he had fluid in his lungs and his scolosis was making it difficult for his lungs to operate effectively. 

This morning my MIL's care home rang hubby to state that she wasn't well, was refusing to leave her room and becoming more aggressive and at other times, tearful.  We agreed to write a detailed account of her medical history to date, like we did with my BIL.

To top it all, my youngish black and white cat Sophie's gone missing.  I've long wondered whether she was getting her Felix elsewhere, but we haven't seen her since we put her out last night.  Apparently the insurance states that you have to contact the Vet within five days of disappearance.  She's chipped and was vaccinated recently.  Pah!

Sunday 11 October 2015

Post #16 - Getting Stuff Done Around The House


Now, most Mothers know how difficult it can be to keep on top of things and boy, do I have a huge issue with this?  Most of the houses around here are absolutely spotless, mine's not bad, but isn't what you'd call pristine.  There seems to be a great deal of pressure around here to conform, that's partly why I don't want to invite many people round, well, I don't mind trusted friends, but you know what I mean?



This afternoon I sorted out the seagrass baskets in the bathroom (pictured) and feel very pleased with myself.  Sometimes I forget just how many cosmetics we have in the house.

Monday 5 October 2015

Post #15 - Eurenesis, The School Run and Fat Felines

Last night at about 4am my DH (Darling Husband - it's a Mumsnet contraction I believe) was woken by our DS (Darling Son) who had removed his night nappy and consequently wet the bed. I didn't wake: after a series of sleepless nights I'm dead to the world at the moment, but I will be dealing with the washing and ironing later. We have seen a nurse at the local hospital about this and were given a booklet. I think I'll write about this in greater detail once I've formulated a system  (you've got to have a system - thank you Harry Hill!)


These are my Nike Air Rifts (aka the Cloven hooves) which I like to wear on the school run. They're very comfortable, especially as I replaced the smelly insoles with memory foam ones.

Now, I know that it's a really 80s thing, but this waist bag I purchased from eBay is really useful on the school run. It holds my keys and phone as well as a small purse. Yes, I physically walk DS to school, I wish more parents around here would do the same and there would be fewer cars on the road. I do understand if it's a really long way or you're driving directly to work afterwards, but most return back home and then probably go to the gym. Pffft.


Finally, my youngest moggie has gone to the Vet with DH. It's her annual checkup. She's quite a porky puss and has a dangerous Felix addiction, so it'll probably be the Kitty Slimfast for her.








Sunday 4 October 2015

Post #14 - Having A Son On The Spectrum - Education, Education, Education

As mentioned in post #1 I have a son on the Spectrum.  He's currently eight-years-old and attends a mainstream school.  I do worry though, as do most parents, but believe me, I'm concerned about his future.  This is a borough with selective education and I know that he probably won't be able to even sit the selection tests, let alone pass them.  There are a couple of large Comprehensives in the area and believe me, he's not going there - I physically shudder at the thought of his blond head being flushed down the toilet.

There is another option - a faith school with an excellent reputation which is located about three miles away.  One of the women in my Choir has three children who are pupils there.  According to the SENCO they have a discrete Autism Unit which would be a perfect fit.  We go to church sporadically and I'll admit that I've never really approved of those who only worship to ensure that their offspring gain a place in a good school, but now the time is fast approaching, I wonder whether to jump on the bandwagon - after all, I was brought up a Christian (despite never being formally Christened - my Father's decision apparently) and attended Sunday School and Pathfinders way into my teens.

It's so difficult, but considering that he's currently in Year 4, I really need to start actually doing something, don't I?

Saturday 3 October 2015

Post #13 - ASC, Driving and Studying

Now I know that there's probably no link here, but my extreme anxiety means that I can no longer drive a car. I first learnt to drive when I was seventeen back in the 1990s, but had a bit of a horrible experience with an old, pervy and irracable instructor. I reported him to the DVLA by the way.

When I was eighteen I tried again; this time with a younger family man who drove a dual control Ford Fiesta. After about seventy (yes, that's seven-o) lessons I passed first time. I was nineteen. Now, my grandfather had a Mini which he'd barely used since purchasing it new in 1977 and I attempted to drive that. I didn't like it: the gears were too stiff and the vehicle seemed too low.

In the late 1990s I gained a local job; instead of traipsing up to London on the train I could catch one bus to work. Unfortunately the bus was rubbish, so I decided to give motoring another go. I went out and bought a second-hand Nissan Micra and invested in some refresher lessons. It was truly amazing and it would be an understatement to say that I absolutely adored that Japanese runaround. I even drove to Suffolk in it.

I met the man who would later become my husband in early 2000 and he couldn't drive (at the time - he can now!) I left work, started University as a mature student the very same year. I was based in The University of East Anglia in Norwich. I sold my car and my academic career ended after two miserable months on campus as I couldn't cope.

Epilogue: I graduated from Birkbeck College in 2005 with a History BA. Great things can be achieved in the right environment.

Post #12 - More Insomnia + Choir Musings

Oh for goodness sake, this is driving me crazy now. It's nearly 3:30am and I cannot sleep.  Again. Yes I know that I shouldn't be on a screen, but hey, writing's good - yeah?

I'm a member of a local choir. It's fun, I adore singing and was studying for my Grade 4 with the choir leader/music teacher until my fragile mental health forced me to stop. I started singing back in 2010; I used to sing in a church choir as a child but gave it up for decades. I began with a few beginners' group courses and then joined a central London choir for about eighteen months in total and then my work ensemble. Actually, I think I'll detail my experiences on one of my other (many) blogs.

Right: ASC. Singing's great for the soul, but I do struggle somewhat with the logistics involved. For example,  I walk the three miles there as I haven't driven for many years now because of extreme anxiety. I often get a lift back, but I don't wish to be a burden. The room itself, which is the music department of a grammar school can get very crowded and last week one of the other altos was behind me and her continual chewing and talking was vexing me. She's a nice woman and we've spoken many times; she even has a grandchild with ASC. It's not easy for me though as some of the other choristers are flat; this is because you don't have to audition to get in, which is a double-edged sword.

Oh dear, I sound like a right old moaner don't I? I'm not, honestly.

Thursday 1 October 2015

Post #11 - Diversity and Inclusion at Work

It's currently after midnight and I cannot sleep.  This sometimes happens to me, so I either read something really boring (such as the Radio Times's many articles about a) Benedict Cumberbatch, b) Doctor Who or c) Bake Off), listen to audiobooks or write.  This time I have chosen the third option.

Work - it's a funny old concept for an Aspie isn't it?  Apparently only 15% of people on the Spectrum are in full-time employment, which is pretty low if you stop and think about it.  Why?  Well, from what I know, it's a minefield out there and employers find it hard to place Aspies in roles and the staff themselves, well they struggle, that's for sure.  That's one of the main reasons why I'm working on a communication/training session to inform both the ASC staff themselves as well as their line management.  I've a lot to achieve in the next few months, but you know, I don't think I'm being corny by saying that it's hugely interesting and amazingly rewarding.

This afternoon I was interviewed by our Internal Communications team regarding my role as Chair of the Asperger Syndrome Group at work.  I cannot really say who I work for, nor elaborate much further, but let's just say that it's the public sector and they are still very good at accommodating staff with additional needs.  I hope that I gave a good account of myself during the interview; I was wearing turquoise leggings under my Trinny and Susannah (via eBay from their exclusive QVC range fashion fact fans!) dress and it's too short on me, hence the need for leg coverage.  You don't really need to know that do you?  Oh, I'm an Aspie, forgive me - my mind shoots off in all different directions at times.

I also attended a 'casting call' to find enough people to fulfill the roles for other Diversity projects.  There weren't many people present (well, apart from the panel and the organiser) and there was talk of a representative from RADA to come in and provide some voice/projection coaching, so I'm definitely up for that one.  I hope it's glasses on a lanyard time!

*Edit* - it never happened - I became too ill to participate.