Saturday 23 June 2018

Post #137 - Nil Points Pour Le PIP

Regular readers, if there are indeed any, may recall that I recently attended a face-to-face assessment for PIP as described in an earlier post: https://faspie.blogspot.com/2018/06/giving-me-pip.html

Right, so yesterday the DWP 'buff A5 letter of doom' plopped into the Logics' porch, I slit it open and it was a bit fat no.  Considering that I scored an amazing 2 points (yes, 2!) during PIP attempt #1 this was a double shock.  Nothing, nada.

So ... I'm currently drafting my Mandatory Reconsideration Notice.  I'm pretty annoyed, so it's full of vitriol, here's an extract:

"I told the Assessor that I have panic attacks when eating either in or out of the home; he stated that he had a nursing background, but didn’t seem to understand what ‘acid reflux’ was and called it ‘acid reflex’.  I have no idea how this man managed to pass the requisite examinations to qualify as a medical professional."


Thursday 21 June 2018

Post #136 - Sabbatical

After the events of the last few weeks I have decided, for the good of my health, to take a bit of a step back from working with other people.  It'll be fine - I'll pick the role back up in September once Master Logic is safely settled into his secondary school.

*Update*

I never returned to the Charity and was sidelined over the summer. 

Monday 18 June 2018

Post #135 - Behind The Mask

Do you ever, like me, stop and think, 'why the hell do I bother even attempting to help people?'  Maybe you do, perhaps you don't?  Yep, I can be a right angry bear at times, but the truth of the matter is that I'm really frustrated by life at the moment.  Regular readers of this blog will know that I took redundancy from the civil service just over two years ago and since then, I've been searching for something meaningful to fill my time.  As I've frequently mused upon, finding gainful employment is almost impossible for people with Autism, but with a little tweaking, the skills I've picked up during my career in the public sector can be transferred across to the voluntary sector.

Take for example: charity work; yes, it can be rewarding and annoying in equal measure, but recently the pendulum is swinging towards the latter option.  Why?  Well, let's define the verb itself (credit: Google Dictionary)

autism
ˈɔːtɪz(ə)m/
noun
noun: autism
  1. a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by great difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts.
Origin
early 20th century (originally with reference to a condition in which fantasy dominates over reality, regarded as a symptom of schizophrenia and other disorders): from Greek autos ‘self’ + -ism.

... from 'autos' meaning 'self' - so in a word, selfish.  I'm increasingly getting really fed up with this particular aspect of the condition.  Autistic people can be complete unreasonable arseholes at times and as for some, and by no means all, parents of children/adults on the spectrum, they're bloody worse - rude, entitled and demanding as hell.  Writing as somebody, who, until her late thirties, knew something was wrong, but not exactly what, I've been musing it for a while now.  I did exist in the world, held down a career, got married, had a son and generally masked my condition.  I've been 'unmasked' for nearly five years and hey, I just want to grab the mask back, stick it back on my face and return to a world when autism was something which happened to other people.  I know that it's impossible to do that, especially as my son's on the spectrum and it would be frankly ridiculous concept, but I'm coming out of the other side, it'll take a while, but it'll be fine.

My recent PIP assessment made me re-address my past history, with special reference to the last five years or so and directly led to a bout of hypomania which has lasted for two weeks now.  It's not a nice feeling - think of a swarm of bees buzzing in your skull and you'll have some idea.









Sunday 3 June 2018

Post #134 - Giving Me The PIP

Yep readers, it's PIP time again.  Just in case I didn't write about what happened with PIP attempt #1, well, let's just say that it went all the way through to Tribunal and failed.  The lead Judge on the panel said to me, and I quote "you've got to understand who this benefit is aimed at?" As I was in bits at the time and as a claimant, you're not supposed to answer the panel back I merely replied "I plan to re-apply", but in retrospect, that's no way to treat a person.  Did she really think that I was tying to craftily eke some cash out of the Government?  Was I not worthy?  Anyway, me being me, I wrote a letter of complaint about her attitude and fired off a letter of complaint to these people, namely the Judicial Conduct Investigations Board: https://judicialconduct.judiciary.gov.uk/, but that was back in April and despite chasing it up recently, my query hasn't even been acknowledged, let alone dealt with.

*Update* - I got pushed from pillar to post, but I finally heard back from the Head Judge or whatever he's called.  The complaint is very much in the process of being resolved.  

I re-applied with the assistance of the experienced chair from my local adult autism charity, and await tomorrow's fun.  I squared it with the DWP to use a taxi and apply for a refund afterwards.  I know that this sounds a bit over-the-top, but I don't and can no longer drive due to my failing eyesight and extreme anxiety, plus the bus goes from a London Borough into Kent and I tend to avoid travelling to that town because it has a one-way system and, oh, considering how stressed I got last time I travelled solo on public transport (please see https://faspie.blogspot.com/2018/05/trains-planes-and-automobiles.html for further deets) it's something I cannot deal with prior to a stressful event such as explaining to an ATOS assessor how bloody useless my autism makes me feel.