Friday 25 September 2015

Post #10 - Mumsnet: Neurodiversity support thread: Women with suspected/self-diagnosed/diagnosed ASC & ADHD

Back in late 2013 when I was first trying to work out whether I had Asperger Syndrome I ventured upon a thread on Mumsnet and posted a few times under my old username.  I changed my username recently after the cyber attack on the site and because I wanted to be known by a different moniker.

Anyway, here's a link to the new thread: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs_recommendations/2399562-Neurodiversity-support-thread-Women-with-suspected-self-diagnosed-diagnosed-ASC-ADHD?msgid=56752860#56752860  I'm finding it an absolutely excellent source of support.  There are a number of amazing posters on there and the way I learn about everything Aspie is to read recommended textbooks, blogs and forum posts.  It's ironic in many ways, since being diagnosed as an Aspie I can't get enough of reading about the condition and how it affects people, especially women.

I've never really known what I wanted to be in life - some people knew at school that they wanted to be a nurse/bus driver/builder etc or go into the family business, but believe me when I tell you that I never really did.  Like many people growing up in the 1980s, we inputted our details into a huge computer and the associated print out suggested that we may wish to be a bramble picker or a shop assistant.  I drifted into a career in the public sector, but it wasn't a great fit for me.  Now, I know that I want to work in the field of Autism in some way.

Thursday 24 September 2015

Post #9 - Work Diversity Blog



This is a redacted version of a blog post I wrote for my employer's Diversity and Inclusion Campaign 2015:

*Edit* - I'm pretty sure that it never went out as I became too ill to participate in the campaign.  



Diversity Blog – Asperger Syndrome

I have been employed within the public sector for the last twenty-one years. My son had an early diagnosis of being on the Autistic Spectrum and then an additional assessment also noted he had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).  Having seen his traits it finally dawned on me that maybe I was also on the Autistic Spectrum?  As time went on, I was inspired to seek my own formal medical diagnosis, obtained via the Occupational Health team earlier this year.

The support available to staff who have disabilities and long term health conditions and who are employed here is great. By attending the various internal support groups I have learnt so much more about all things disability now than I did, a year ago and my knowledge is increasing.  I enjoy taking a positive and proactive stance to ensure that the rights of disabled staff are respected as much as possible.  As well as the main network there are a number of sub-groups supporting specific communities, such as the Asperger Syndrome Group, which I chair and the associated Parents/Carers of Children with Autism, chaired a colleague.  In addition to this, as well as support for many other disabilities, there’s the Mental Health Group.  Depression often occurs alongside autism, because the brain struggles to process the world around you.  I had struggled in the past and the support I have received here from colleagues has been essential to my wellbeing.

Generally, we do a great job of supporting disabled staff, however, in my opinion, there is still room for improvement and quite a lot can still be done to make our workplace more disability accessible, both in terms of the awareness and understanding that colleagues have of the impacts of disabilities and long term health conditions on colleagues. For example, if you have autism, you can find it even more difficult to fully understand the unwritten rules of the workplace.  We often struggle to interpret the unwritten rules of the office and sometimes miss the point of what we are being told.

Whilst the term Asperger Syndrome no longer formally exists as a medical diagnosis, it provides those of us at work with a good terms of reference.  I particularly like the term ‘Aspie’ and I’ve written the first draft of An Aspie’s Guide To Social Media and am planning other additions to the list such as An Aspie’s Guide To Work and An Aspie’s Guide to Travel.  If my work helps other people in similar situations then I’m happy.  I’ve also made some great friends through the support network and as a result, will be getting more involved with volunteering for the National Autistic Society (NAS).

Wednesday 23 September 2015

Post #8 - Aspies and Depression

The medical term for this kind of incidence is a 'co-morbid', but this isn't particularly popular with many people for quite obvious reasons.  Morbidity tends to be something which isn't particularly sought after, a bit like the term 'morbidly obese'.  Anyway, 'related condition' sounds much better.  I recall the first time I became depressed - I was about nine-years-old at the time and it occurred just after Christmas when I'd been suffering from a chest infection.  It was pretty horrible.

Yes, depression or clinical depression if you want to be 100% accurate.  I think this is why many people with Autism/AS tend to be mis-diagnosed with bipolar disorder or other conditions such as Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD, although that moniker tends to make me think of Madonna's early 80s hit.  I think it's mostly because an Aspie's world is a confusing one and trying to confirm to what many may call a 'social norm' is difficult and incredibly draining.  I also believe that the onset of autumn makes me topple into Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD).  Hey ho - plenty of walking around outside for me tomorrow.

Thursday 17 September 2015

Post #7 - Friendships

Like many Aspies I struggle somewhat to make friends and always have.  I'm most comfortable in male company and by that I mean geeky blokes and not sporty examples of malehood replete with fake tan, loafers and hair gel.  Yes, I can be judgemental, but believe me, those TOWIE clones don't go for geeky Faspies either.

I have had quite a few examples in my past of friends becoming far too close and obsessed by me.  This happened when I was at an all-girls secondary school where a classmate soon turned from close friend to sworn enemy and tried to push me into oncoming traffic.  Later on, as an adult a similar thing happened when a woman I met at an antenatal class became far too close and began to try and take over my life.  This time I was warned off by my husband and parents.  I think it's happening again though, but I don't really quite how to deal with it without upsetting the person concerned. 

That said, when I like somebody I can become bloody obsessed myself.  I have to be sat down and spoken to about it.  There's very few grey areas with us Aspies is there? 

Monday 7 September 2015

Post #6 - What It Feels Like For An (Aspie) Girl

Having a young son with ASC I can see some definite parallels with my own behaviour.  It's extremely geeky, that's for sure.  The obsessions sometimes become ridiculous - my current ones are as follows:
Oh dear, that makes me sound pretty tedious doesn't it?  I'm not, honest - well, I am a little bit.  

Saturday 5 September 2015

Post #5 - Post Diagnosis

When the draft report of private diagnosis popped into my inbox I must admit that it made interesting reading and by that, well, it was a bit like being slapped around the face with a rancid wet fish.  Being a typical Aspie, I zoomed in on the negative aspects such that I 'presented younger than my chronological age' and 'my voice had a montone air'.  Yes, even now in middle age I don't really like being criticised as it eats away at my soul.  I did question certain phrases and conclusions via email and on the phone and yes, they got duly amended.

That said, I'm an Aspie and therefore I'm disabled.  I really never thought that I had 'special needs', I really didn't.  I guess that many people don't really.  It's like going into mourning in many ways; certain careers are verboten now and my life felt and indeed still feels, strange.

Thursday 3 September 2015

Post #4 - The Private Diagnosis

Now, I won't provide too many details on who actually carried out my private diagnosis, but let's just say that he's well renowned in his field.  It took the form of three separate interactions: the first being at his private practice where he talked me through my notes and asked me to elaborate on various points.  As ever, I was accompanied by my husband who's always a constant source of support.  I recall becoming tearful as I often do when probed about my past; I wish that I didn't, but that's just me.  I was deemed serious enough to qualify to the next stage of the process.  The Psychologist asked me to write a detailed account of my life to date and my husband was requested to do the same.  On reflection and chats with my mentor have found this to be far too detailed, but it was my opinion that he would extract certain elements out of my life story, not just cut and paste it in!

I also had to complete the AQ, EQ and SQ questionnaires - there's a link to these, plus a whole load of other ASC material here: http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/arc_tests  I cannot recall my exact scores on each and quite frankly I don't really wish to provide them at this stage, but the results all fell within the 'yes, you're definitely an Aspie' range.

The day of the diagnosis fell and it took place at work which is located in central London.  I booked a meeting room large enough for three, unfortunately all of the meeting rooms in the building have paper thin walls and you could hear a mouse cough next door.  So, it was supposed to take up to five hours.  Yes, really.  We set up and worked through a series of tests, but I couldn't concentrate as there was somebody in the office next door shouting down the telephone.  We had to ask him to desist, but I couldn't fully engage, I rarely can.

The puzzle element was difficult for me and I didn't recognise all of the weird facial expressions shown on the Psychologist's iPad - in fact, they closely resembled one of my friends, which was nice, albeit bizarre.  You'll be pleased to learn that I excelled at the definitions of words and my voice became monotone at various points. 

The conclusion: after a mere four hours(!) was that yes, I have Asperger Syndrome and no, it no longer exists as part of the DSM V:  http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/all-about-diagnosis/changes-to-diagnostic-criteria/qanda-dsm-5.aspx  Huh!  I'm an Aspie, no doubt about it.