Anyway, late one Friday night I saw a series of photographs and blurb of a bloke whom I'll refer to as James. He was older than me by more than sixteen years, but as my late husband had been fifteen years my senior I was already attracted to older men [father complex and insecurity]. He'd already swiped right on me and as I had too, we had a match. I sent him a cheeky opening message; he responded, immediately stating what he wanted!? We exchanged numbers early on Saturday morning.
One hour later James called me. It was akin to an interview and was basically his way of determining whether I was a time waster. Apparently because I'd also worked as a civil servant and was suitably impressed that he'd had a book published etc etc that I was deemed a suitable candidate for his amarous intentions. I sent him a link to my LinkedIn. That's due diligence for you.
James wanted to do a videochat in the afternoon but as I was attending Drum Club, I couldn't. He later called me from the bath. I did say that I didn't really want one of those kind of videochats and he said that it wouldn't be. It wasn't and the camera didn't deviate from his face. Later on, we chatted when he was travelling back from London and he then insisted on another videochat, but this one was much more explicit - basically he wanted a free peep show. He was very demanding.
The next day he wanted me to drive from south-east London up to Hertfordshire to his home. On a first date? Are you mad? I don't drive anyway. I was volunteer litter picking at my local Abbey so I agreed to jump on the Elizabeth line and meet him in Farringdon, which I did. He was very full on from the start - he presented me with a bunch of lillies which are actually a funeral flower. He was attentive, charming and incredibly tactile. I didn't hugely mind at the time. We walked hand in hand around the City of London. He was incredibly intelligent and autistic. Great. He wanted to know everything about me, especially my love life, which in retrospect, was rather odd
We parted at Farringdon a few hours later. He got a snog and a sneaky grope. Lovely. Surely that contravenes the Conditions of Carriage?
The week went on. He was very attentive. We videochatted each evening and some mornings. Then he booked an STD test and wanted me to do the same [as we're clearly a load of old rotten old slags down in south London]. Yikes. I did order the online one, but it brought up past trauma from the 1990s.
On the Wednesday evening he was in a bad mood and basically admitted to sleeping with a woman abroad on Tinder's travel mode. I was a bit taken aback about that and retorted that "I'd see what I could find on Tinder myself" He got angry, saying that "it was lucky that he wanted me because nobody would be interested in me because I was so mis-shapen in the Viz photograph." I hung up on him and then cried myself to sleep as my weight is my archilles heel.
I admonished him by WhatsApp the next day. He apologised wholeheartedly but I knew in my heart of hearts that it wouldn't work. He'd reacted badly when I'd expressed concern about him having unprotected sex with a Tinder match abroad. I mean, it's dangerous isn't it? As a result, I was in a bad mood all Thursday and had a go at someone on a MS Teams workshop. I later apologised in writing to the person concerned.
It limped on during Friday. He is a cradle Catholic and therefore has an issue with condoms. I was raised Anglican and believe that safe sex is the best way to navigate through one's sexual partners. He was really obsessed by his own semen. Ick. Maybe I should have just asked him to express some into a suitable bottle and post it to me? He wanted to book a hotel room during the next week and kept asking whether my period had ended. I am currently menopausal, so there's no way of knowing.
I didn't hear from him much on Saturday and not at all on Sunday. He is a world leader in his particular field, bully for him. Thus he's always beavering away 24/7. I must admit that I sent far too many messages to him; I'm an idiot like that.
This morning I got dumped by WhatsApp. All of my mates who'd been helping and advising me along the way were sympathetic. I did have a blood pressure, height and weight check at the GP this afternoon and I am too fat and my BP is too high so I've been referred to the NHS's Steps To Health gym scheme, which I'll be undertaking during 2025.
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