Yesterday I visited my parents, having cooked a splendid (even if I say so myself!) toad in the hole and a Bird's trifle in a box. Clearly my recent bereavement has made me even more arsey, but my temper is very short these days. Arranging the day was a pain in the arse - apparently I must be as explicit as possible in regard to planning my visits(!) Dad picked me up and helped me pack all of the food up but hey, as soon as we arrived my brother and his over-enthusiastic golden retriever, Honey, were there and if you know that breed then you'll no doubt be aware that they're very bouncy indeed and we almost dropped the trifle as a result. My brother is very like his canine housemate in so many years, despite being in his mid-late forties at time of writing.
It was the usual festival of odd chez parents. We were just finishing our lunchtime meal (aforementioned toad-in-the-hole, boiled frozen veg, watery gravy ...) when my brother rang the landline, suggesting a trip out to the largest park in the borough. As you might already be aware, my mother's mobility is seriously compromised by her balance and resulting lack of confidence in walking. Look - it was hideous - it was horribly muddy due to all of the recent rainfall, my mother had a hiking pole in one hand and my stepfather's paw in the other - all of the time the family (consisting, additionally of my brother, sister-in-law and two teen nieces) So - we decided to move both cars and head for the nearest road, which meant covering a huge boggy area. My mother struggled, my brother offered to give her a piggy back(!) and I fell over and then gave them both a piece of my mind. I then escaped, walked to the nearest exit and was picked up in my stepfather's car - I said to my eldest niece "your father's a complete idiot!" Harsh, but fair.
My stepfather later told me that we should have gone to a much more suitable park with a nearby car park and proper concrete paths. He, as ever, was absolutely correct.
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