Post #43: A Trip Out With My Aspie Mate

A friend of mine, a former colleague from work has recently resigned and therefore is heading back up north to re-join family and friends.  Thus, it would be the last time that I'd be able to see him for a while, so with this in mind, we agreed to meet up at a cafe in Forest Hill we'd talked about before - namely The Archie Parker which is owned by Trevor, one half of the famous 1980s BBC Going Live! comedy duo, namely the 'Singing Corner'.  The Archie Parker is very cute and retro and the vibe is fantastic, furnished as it is with gingham drop leaf tables and with classic Look In covers framed on the walls.

I must admit that my friend, who also has Asperger Syndrome pitched his voice a little too loudly for my comfort.  He also talked at me, rather than to me, but that's what he's like really.  I often do find that males with AS are much more socially awkward than females on the spectrum - I guess that it's all that hiding, fluffing and acting we have to do to get through our lives?

We then had a wander around the Horniman Musuem which was rather lovely. I do rather like the walrus!  There are also some rather wonderful gardens, but the weather was so awful that we deferred our visit to those.

It took two long-winded buses to get there and two buses and one train on the return leg.  I always carry my iPod nano 4th generation player with me in the bag to play when the background noise on the bus gets too much for me to bear.  It's a great strategy and seemingly works well!

Post #42: The Hairdressers and The Doctor's

Yep, as the title suggests I visited both today.  The first was the hairdresser this morning and no, it wasn't too bad.  I had a money off voucher as I hadn't been to the salon for about six months and the computer generated email wondered why, which was a nice touch from Mr Babbage.  It wasn't an an awful experience - I only bashed into one piece of furniture and my stylist wasn't particularly talkative, so I could listen into other people's conversations, such as:

Hairdresser (HD): "So, what did you do for the New Year?
Woman: Not much, just had a few friends and family over and ate bits 'n' pieces.
HD: Really?  Where did you get 'em from?
Woman: The supermarket and the kiddies' gifts from the pound shop.
HD: Kids love all that stuff don't they?
Woman: Yeah.
HD: My aunt and uncle have parties and they tend to cook up a huge pot of curry and another of chili - no wastage ....

And so on ....

I like my hair though - it looks good.

This afternoon we took our son to the GP after school about his food allergies. He's continuing the elimination diet and will be going for a blood test in the next couple of weeks.  Sigh.

Post #41: Endings and Beginnings

Well, I'm currently in the process of signing off my redundancy forms and submitting them. Do I feel sad? No, not really if I'm honest.

In other news, a fellow Aspie from work has resigned. Yep, he's leaving London to return to his family up north. I don't blame him, although it's much colder up there, but it *is* friendlier. And accommodation's cheaper.

Post #40: Lack Of Detail

Yeah, it's me and I'm moaning again - sorry!  I just feel like I have to vent it out on someone and well, the interweb's a good place for that kind of thing because nobody pre-judges you (that bit's a joke by the way, of course they do!)

My email to a council employee explains in greater detail.  I've redacted anything specific:

Carers' Conference - Friday, 16th January: Feedback

Hi XXXX,

Thank you for your invitation to the Carers' Conference which was held today.  Unfortunately I turned up at 11:30, believing the 'Conference' to be more of a 'wander around the various stalls and talk to people event' and not a 'sit down in the Council Chamber and listen to professionals giving PowerPoint presentations'.  Re-reading the A4 Word background document, as did my husband, we concluded, a former XXXXX ourselves, that there just wasn't enough clarity concerning this issue.  For example, I'd always structure an Conference agenda in this way:

10:00 - Registration/Coffee

10:15 - Opening Address - Her Worshipful, The Mayor of XXXXX

10:45 - First speaker etc

This format is also useful to those of us accessing the attachment via a smartphone app as it's extremely clear.  Also, the use of a structured format and plain English encompasses the needs of people with conditions such as Dyslexia and Dyscalcula as well as those on the Autistic Spectrum.  

I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome myself last year following my son's diagnosis, via XXXXX NHS Trust, back in 2011.  As you can imagine, I'm very interested to get involved in the Special Needs Sector.  Both myself and my son experience extreme social anxiety and tools such as background documents/structure etc are essential elements to allow us to function.  The National Autistic Society (NAS) encompass this extremely well in regard to the background material they provide pertaining to their annual 'AutismCon' events and a former colleague of mine sits on the organising committee.

Yours sincerely

(F)Aspie

Post #39: Rainy Days and Thursdays

Before you ask, no I didn't go to the NAS Coffee Morning this morning. Why's that then? Well, it's raining and the lack of railway service is causing some odd behaviour on the roads at the moment and quite frankly, I'm having my own personal coffee morning here in my living room, alone - apart from the cat slumbering over in the corner.

Surely the main point of attending coffee mornings is to mingle with others in the same situation? Yes, true, but I just don't feel 'right' in myself and I'm attending choir tonight and the Carers' Conference tomorrow, so that's enough socialising for now.

Here's a picture of the now deserted railway  (caused by a landslide) - here's hoping that they'll be able to remove all of the rubble from the tracks and restore the service soon?

Post #38 - Better and (Un)Twisted!

I am starting to feel much better about myself, which is great.  The weather's getting cold (brrr!), but it is the middle of the winter in the UK.  As for me, well, let's just say that I'm reaching out and trying to do more.  Tomorrow I'll try to attend the monthly NAS Coffee Morning and maybe Choir in the evening?  Friday, I'm planning to go to a Carers' Conference which is being held in the Council Offices and then Saturday - London.  Yes, the smokin' Metropolis, somewhere I haven't been since early November.  I've even signed up to a short Creative Writing Course - the first session of which is being held next Tuesday afternoon.  I'm trying to follow my GP's advice about putting a routine back in place.  Watch this space!

Post #37 - Bitter and Twisted?

When I was growing up, my parents often used the term 'twitter and bisted', but that was years prior to the micro-blogging site's launch - maybe they were visionaries who never knew it?  Probably not.

Oh, what can I say - I'm always in a flipping mood these days and the SSRIs are probably the cause of this.  It could, however, be my natural 'arsey' personality - who can tell?  I probably drink far too much coffee in the morning - it could be an overindulgence in caffeine?    Maybe.  It could be a case of becoming vexed by lazy stupid people who fail to turn up their chair they agreed to take from my home via the recycling site Freecycle?

I won't bore you with my continuing work woes as there's no point and I'm not permitted to anyway.  I just wish that there was an easier way of working when one's an Aspie and most things seem out of reach ..... This phrase always reminds me of this classic Hall and Oates song: I Can't Go For That (No Can Do).  Yes, I do appreciate the use of parenthesis in a song title.

Post #36 - Dealing With Care Issues

Regular readers may be aware that my husband was, until recently, the main point of caring contact for his 90-year-old mother, who has vascular dementia and 54-year-old brother, who has profound learning and physical difficulties.  I won't repeat myself as it's all detailed in one of my other blogs: Caring For The Carers.

Right, as an aspie, dealing with the minefield of family care is pretty bad.  Aspies are always told that they 'lack empathy' and that's true for me in some ways, but not in others.  I do care deeply for those close to me, but if it's an unfeeling and selfish person, well let's just say that I'm not afraid to make my feelings known.  I did this once after my brother died; one of my grandfather's Pimlico neighbours (who was, strangely, the daughter-in-law of former UK Prime Minister, Stanley Baldwin) kept calling our home number and accusing us of ignoring my grandfather's needs.  After about two terse calls with the patrician pest I told her to go away in no uncertain terms.

I've just dealt with my husband's email correspondence regarding our new focus on close family care this year.  I think that this late 1980s track really sums up my thoughts at the moment: Tired Of Getting Pushed Around.

Post #35 - MumAspie Tips - Bungee Laces

I wrote a post about purchasing some bungee laces as a life hack/workaround regarding my son's continuing inability to fasten his shoes.  Unfortunately, I drafted the text on the Android Blogger app and it wouldn't publish, however many times I tried, which was a right PITA.  Apparently this is a common issue with the app's efficacy.  Hmm.

The jist was that I bought two x two metres of grey and white bungee cord from a seller on eBay (whom I really wouldn't hugely recommend as he was quite snippy with me), but I duly laced up a pair of my son's trainers and another of his fake Converse baseball boot style ones.  I sealed the raggedly cut ends with sellotape, but on reflection, clear nail varnish may also work for this process - I'll test it and let you know.  I've placed the trainers in my son's school PE kit, so hopefully he won't lose those as well (one of his NEW black size 3 Hi-Tecs went astray prior to Christmas - rahhhhh!) we'll see.  I find that velcro trainers are really difficult to get hold of in his size, which is now a whacking great UK3 (he's only eight, but big feet do 'run' in our family - ha ha!)  Mind you, paying £72 in Clarks the other day for a new pair of school shoes and some black velcro trainers is rather steep to say the least.  I do appreciate the need to retain my son's phalanges though, what caring mother wouldn't?

Here they are: